Buried Alive
by GlindatheGood22
Summary: In a time when a racial war is raging, Lily and James try to stay alive and finish their last year of Hogwarts. But when death and life threats come their way, they aren't sure if they can make it. LilyJames fan fic! Rewritten!
1. Chapter 1 Lily's life is on the Fritz

**Disclaimer:** I dont own anything Harry Potter... Happy?

HEY People. I rewrote this story because as I read over the 4 chapters I posted in my other one... I hated it. I had some ideas that I thought were wonderful at the time... like having a barn at Hogwarts, and looked at them and say 'wow those were some crappy ideas'. So now I'm writing a better story... I hope. I really would like it if you reviewed!

So this chapter is a catch up on Lily's life... it really starts during the summer after Lily's 6th year NOT at the beginning of 1st.

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Chap. 1- Intro

Why don't we start from the beginning? Lily Evans was a normal girl, she went to grade school, had parents that loved her, and a sister. She had striking red hair and brilliant emerald green eyes. She actually got along with her sister and she had many friends. Mind you, she was 10 at the time. When she turned 11… things started to go weird.

The morning of her 11th birthday Lily had received a letter from this school called "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." At first her family just thought it was a prank… a few days later she woke up to dozens of owls sitting in her kitchen. Her mother figured it wouldn't hurt to send a letter back to where ever the owls came from… and just a few hours later a strange man with a dress on was knocking on her door. The moment of realization hit the family. Her parents were proud and showered Lily with support and love. Her sister on the other hand was not so happy about it. She turned to calling Lily a freak; she insisted that she hated her and that she wished that she was never her sister.

The man at her doors name was Albus Dumbledore. He was apparently the Headmaster of this Hogwarts place. He took her to the magical places that you have heard about. Diagon Alley, The Leaky Cauldron, Olivanders, and many others to get her school supplies. When he left that evening he placed a train ticket in her hand. He told her that the train leaves at 11 am, no sooner no later. Lily failed to look at the ticket until after he left. She was shocked to see 'platform 9 & ¾' written on her ticket.

Thankfully, Lily did figure out how to get to platform 9 & ¾ with the help of a woman named Celeste Potter and her son James. The boy had messy black hair and round glasses. She figured that his eyes were a hazel color, he was shorter than her by a few inches (he hadn't hit puberty yet) and he was bouncing off the walls.

The train ride was boring and uneventful. Lily sat with a girl named Eliza Tran… a curious girl with glasses the size of tennis balls, a pointy nose, and bleached blonde hair. The girl was quiet and barely spoke words besides a 'hello' and 'goodbye' to her. She didn't see anymore of the Potter boy on the whole train ride.

Lily finally made it to this 'Hogwarts' place and got off the train. Immediately she heard a large booming voice called the 1st years to him. She made a beeline for him and stood under his gigantic figure until the rest of the students arrived. He introduced himself as Hagrid, the Groundskeeper of Hogwarts. He instructed them to climb into a bundle of very small and unstable boats in groups of no bigger than four. Lily sat in the boat closest to her and was joined a few seconds later by that Potter boy and two of his new friends he met on the train. One looked similar to him except thinner with tamable black hair and gray eyes with no glasses. The other boy was much thinner and had paler skin. He had shaggy dirty blond hair and honey brown eyes.

During the ship ride over to the other side of the lake Lily ignored the 3 boys leaving them to their conversation. The next thing she knew she was in the water screaming for her life… she couldn't swim. How convenient. She comes to a new school with these wizard like people and automatically makes a fool out of herself because she can't swim. She thought she was near the end and was ready to go under and die a lonely virgin when she felt that Hagrid guy pull her out of the lake and put her in his own boat. She understood later that the 2 black haired boys had started rocking the boat and crashed into her and she fell overboard.

During the sorting ceremony she thought she was going to pee her pants. All around her were these old looking people. A large group of them on the far end in green and silver were sneering at them. A group in yellow and black were smiling politely. Another with blue and gray was glancing at them with interest but some seemed more interested in the book in their hands. The last group, red and gold, was smiling at them and waving. Lily didn't know who they were but she thought she liked them the best already. One of the boys that pushed her in the lake was called up first. The hat rested on his head for several moments before announcing Gryffindor to the crowd. He looked shocked along with the green and silver. There was a loud uproar in from the gold and red group, which she figured was Gryffindor. The sorting took forever but she was placed in Gryffindor along with that Potter guy, his 2 friends, and these girls named Isabelle Brown and Charlotte Love.

That was how her years at Hogwarts started; she made quick friends with the two other girls she was rooming with. Charlotte, or Charli for short, was very outgoing and funny in a sarcastic way. She had brownish red hair and aqua eyes. Isabelle, Izzy, was blonde and had blue eyes, she was quiet and more into books like Lily was but she still liked to have fun. They were close friends and stuck to each other like glue for the first couple months. Charli and Izzy were mostly pureblood but were never prejudice to Lily because of her bloodlines.

Over the next couple years Lily learned that she was extremely good in Charms, terrible in Transfiguration, and was good at everything else. She also learned that the 3 boys that dumped her in the lake were called the Marauders and loved to play pranks. The one that wasn't James but looked like him was Sirius Black; he would become one of the biggest ladies man in the school. The blond guy was Remus Lupin, Lily figured out that he was a Werewolf in 2nd year and confronted him about the whole ordeal. She thought he was going to cry in terror. He told her he understood that she would never want to speak or look at him ever again because he was a monster and begged her to keep his secret to herself. Lily accepted his wolf ness and they became close friends. Sometime in 4th year James decided that he had a crush on Lily and asked her out constantly, getting on her nerves greatly. She ended up hating the Marauders, except Remus, and avoided them at all costs.

James often tried to get her attention by asking her out, hexing other people in front of her, or just picking on her. Every time Lily would see him hexing other students, especially the Slytherin boy Severus Snape, she would explode and show her red haired temper. It was ugly but gave James hope somehow to keep asking her out. During the summer of 4th year James moved into her neighborhood and picked on her constantly. She had a neighbor named Michelle Jenkins that went to a muggle school. Michelle would come over and talk about how cute James was every single day, much to Lily's disappointment. Michelle developed a crush on James that she kept until now, the summer before Lily's 7th year.

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THANKS for reading, I hope you liked it so far. I won't post again until I have 2 reviews (from different people). Thank you very much! haha. So review please! Tell me what I'm screwing up (nicely.) and what I'm doing good at.

Next chapter introduces the dialogue of Lily, Michelle, James and Sirius. In the next few chapters there will be an accident that lands someone in the hospital so don't give up on me yet!!!!!


	2. Muddy Brown Eyes

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter.

So, I didn't get any reviews but it was Chp 1 and it was an intro chapter, i don't blame you for not reviewing :D. But this is a good chapter, my longest I have EVER written. Nothing amazing happens though :( sorry guys. Its about 7 pages of 12 times roman something. I hope you like it!

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Chap. 2- Muddy Brown Eyes

"Lily Evans you better owl us during the summer!" Lily's best friend yelled at her from across Platform 9 & ¾. Lily smiled and screamed back that she would. Her parents hadn't arrived yet and Charli and Izzy left at the same time. Lily sat down at the closet unoccupied bench and observed everything around her. Hogwarts students were swarming everywhere. Some of the 7th years were crying and hugging each other goodbye for the last time. Some were bouncing off happily to their respectable parents or cars.

"How's it going Lils?" Someone from beside her said. She snapped out of her trance and turned her head to look at the every arrogant James Potter.

"What do you want?" James faked a hurt expression and replied with "I would love to escort you, Lily Marie Evans, out to dinner sometime." Lily rolled her eyes.

"In your dreams Potter." James chuckled.

"Already in there." Lily gave him an offended look and punched him in the shoulder. He moaned and grumbled about her strong arm but she wasn't listening.

"And to make up for that you have to go out with me"

"Say that one more time and I will kill you Potter" She said roughly, looking in the opposite direction.

"Lily Marie Evans, would you do me the ho-" He started again but Lily turned around and pushed him off he bench.

"Quite a temper you have Miss Evans!" He chuckled and picked himself off the dirty ground dusting himself off. "Ahh, well I must bid you adieu, my parents are here. Till next time Miss Evans" He bowed as deeply as he could and walked away. When he reached his parents they discussed something quickly and they all glanced in Lily's direction. After a brief moment James walked back over to her.

"What now?" She asked looking for her parents.

"Your parents are both on call and in surgery, she couldn't make it. We're going to give you a ride home." Lily looked like someone had just told a 3-year-old kid that there was no Santa Claus… something inside of her just died.

"Fine… I'll just walk home." She replied smugly picking up her cart and going in the other direction. James chuckled again and grabbed her arm.

"Oh no you don't. You're coming with us. I promise Remus and Sirius won't be too unbearable in the car. Plus… I know you want to spend 3 hours of quality James Potter time." Lily grunted.

"I want to spend 3 hours of kicking Potter's ass time… but I suppose with having Remus there, it won't be too bad." Lily handed her cart to James and let him push it back to his parents.

"Hello Lily, Its so good to see you again." Celeste gave Lily a quick hug and peck on the cheek. "I trust your school year was good."

"Yes it was, thank you Mrs. Potter." Lily smiled gracefully.

"Please, call me Celeste, I hate that Mrs. Business, it makes me feel so old." She grinned at the young girl. "James, take Lily's trunk if you will." She ordered. James nodded and juggled his trunk with Lily's.

During the ride home Mrs. Potter practically interrogated Lily on what kinds of trouble the boys had caused that year. Lily grinned evilly thinking about all the trouble she could get the boys into but decided against it… for Remus' sake of course! She told Mrs. Potter that the boys only talked big game but were innocent as angles. She didn't believe her of course, she could make a 1,000-page novel out of all of the letters that were sent home for James' behavior. After that conversation was over Lily and Remus got into a heated conversation about the uses of frogeyes in the regrowing potion… which James and Sirius stayed out of. James and Sirius talked about Quittich as usual, Sirius would randomly throw in something about a girl and James would sometimes trash Snape. After 3 and 1/2 hours they finally rolled up to Lily's front yard.

"Thank you so much for bringing me home Mrs. Potter." Lily stepped out of the car, closely followed by James who had been ordered to take Lily's trunk to the house.

"Its not problem sweetie, we'll be seeing you soon I'm sure." Celeste smiled at her and waved goodbye. Lily turned around and walked to her front door.

Her house was simple enough yet it looked comfortable. It had the typical red brick of an English house. It was a tad bit square for Lily's taste but she had no say in the matter. Her front lawn was very green and freshly cut. Her sister had a thing about yards. The shrubberies were cut perfectly and the flowers were all freshly watered and bright in color. Lily reached her front step and turned around to James who was whistling to cover up the silence.

"Thank you Potter… I suppose." Lily grabbed her trunk from him.

"We'll be seeing you later tonight then." James tipped it imaginary hat to her.

"Later tonight?" She turned around to look at him.

"You didn't expect us to sit in the house all day did you?" He grinned up at her. "We'll be here around 12 throwing pebbles at your window."

"Ugh, please spare me." Lily groaned.

"No can do, plus, I know that Michelle is eager to see Sirius and me again." He winked at her.

"Well… if you must, try not to break a window this time." He grinned at the memory from back in 4th year. Lily had been downstairs watching TV while James threw pebbles at her window. He got frustrated and threw a rock pretty hard… shattering the window to pieces. They had to get his parents to come fix it later that night. The next day Lily's parents had James over and lectured them about teenage hormones. Lily claims that a small part of her died when that happened.

"I'll try" James turned away and walked back to the car. Lily sighed and opened the door to her house, immediately smelling cookies and pasta. Her parents must have gotten home earlier than expected.

"I'm home!" Lily called.

"LILY!" her mother shrieked from the kitchen, Lily heard something metal drop into the sink and the sound of running footsteps. Her mom appeared from the doorway. "I've missed you so much sweetie!" She wrapped her arms around her daughter.

"I've missed you too." Lily hugged her mom back. "What's cooking?" she asked.

"You don't miss your poor mother enough to say proper hello?" Her mom fake sniffled. "And it's your favorite, Fettuccini Alfredo." Lily smiled; she had missed her mom's famous pasta.

"Where's dad?" she asked looking around the house.

"Oh, he's in surgery. Some guy came in with a 25 pound tumor… he won't be home for a long time." Lily wrinkled her nose at the thought of a 25-pound tumor. Lily looked at her mother; she had inherited her green eyes and wavy hair from her mother. Her mother's hair was actually a honey brown color; her father was the one with red hair. Her mom was a bit taller than her and was getting on the chubby side. She was the kind of doctor that worked with babies. Her father worked with cancer patients (obviously from the statement before).

"So how was school?" Her mother asked, draining the pasta in the kitchen sink.

"It was… good. Same as last year with, surprisingly, less work." Lily took out some plates from a cabinet and placed them on the counter.

"You didn't do anything bad did you… drugs, alcohol, sex, skipping, failing-"

"No… I would never do that!" Lily turned around and gave her mother an offended look.

"I know, of course dear… I'm doing my job as a mother. Reminding you that if you do any of those things I will come to school and ground you… that muggle way."

"Is Petunia here?" Lily asked, hoping for a no.

"She said she might stop by later, she's out with that new boyfriend of hers… Vernon Dursley. He goes to some prep school in Ireland."

"He sounds like a charmer…"

"Trust me, that's the exact opposite of what he really is." They gathered their food and sat down at the table. There was an awkward silence as they started to eat.

"So, is that James Potter bothering you still?" Her mother asked her, eyeing her curiously out of the corner of her eye.

"A day hasn't gone by in 6 years what James Potter hasn't bothered me…" She smiled into her drink.

"You know, he's really cute." Lily rolled her eyes. "I think you should give him a chance." Lily groaned, this was only the 50 millionth time she had heard this. "And he's nice to his mother… you know what I say about that."

"Yes mother, if he's good to his mother he'll be good to you."

"That's right. I have yet to see otherwise. Even if they proved me wrong scientifically… I would still be right."

"Sure…" Lily nodded and smiled as she always did. This was something she couldn't stand about her mother. Her mother didn't know how James really was, all she saw was the cute charming boy that came over and acted like a suck up just so her mother would try to convince her to go out with him… and guess what. It worked.

"You know, just because James acts the way he does at school-" the doorbell cut her mother off… Lily sighed gratefully. "Who would be ringing the doorbell at this hour." Lily suddenly tensed up. Who would be ringing a doorbell at this hour? What do they want? Lily remember Dumbledore's warning about things that are happening outside the school. Her mother got up to answer.

"No Mom, don't!" She stood up suddenly. "I'll get it." Her mother sat down looking at her daughter strangely. Lily pulled her wand out of her pocket and held it behind her back just in case there really was nothing to worry about. She craned her next to try and get a good glimpse of what was at the door. She saw a black shadow and that was all. She reached for the doorknob and unlocked the door slowly. She opened it and popped her head out.

"OH MY GOD! Lily your home! What took you so long? I thought you had like died or something!" The person at the door shrieked.

"Oh hey Michelle, I thought you were someone else." Lily sighed audibly in relief. Michelle laughed loudly.

"Who did you think I was silly? James??? Have you seen him by the way? He was supposed to stop by and say hello!" Michelle welcomed her self inside and took off her hat. Her fake bluish black hair fell out in its normal straight manner. Her muddy brown eyes were filled with excitement.

"No, I haven't seen him." Lily lied, she secretly hoped that Michelle would learn to hate him in the same way she did… that way instead of her listening to Michelle's day dreams about getting married and having his babies, they could both rant about what a pain in the ass he is.

"Too bad, so how was school?" Michelle asked, taking off her shoes.

"It was good… hey this isn't a great time, we're eat-"

"Michelle! Oh I've missed you, you never stop by when Lily's at school." Her mother came out of the kitchen door and hugged the petite girl.

"I'm sorry, I've just been so busy with school!" She exclaimed.

"Oh, well, do come and eat with us. We're having pasta."

"Oh, Mrs. Evans, I wouldn't dare impose!" She sounded like a debutant… mostly because she is one. She was always saying the right things to the adults and was a total flirt and so girly it made Lily want to puke sometimes… of just hit her with a stunner and then paint her fingernails black and give her a tattoo the size of Asia on her back.

"No, I insist, please, we have enough for five!"

"Well, if you insist!" She smiled and giggled graciously, if there is a way you can giggle graciously. They paraded back to the kitchen and Mrs. Evans prepared her a plate while both the younger girls sat down at the dining room table.

"So Lily, I haven't heard from you in forever. How was school?"

"It was good, lots of tests and essays. You know, the normal stuff." Michelle didn't know about Lily's status as a witch, and hopefully she never would. She didn't know about James either, she had always been told that they went to a boarding school called St. Mary's somewhere in Scotland.

"Oh I know, did you have to do Calculus last year?"

'No' she thought

"Yes! It was terrible." Lily had no clue how to do calculus but smiled and nodded the entire time, occasionally looking at her mom, would just smirked and continued eating.

"And I'm assuming you read Shakespeare's 'Hamlet'. Oh my gawsh that was so hard!"

"Yea I know… totally" Lily smiled and took a bite of her pasta. Michelle was off in another tangent and again, like just smiled and nodded.

"Oh! Look at the time! I have to get going. Thanks so much for the dinner Mrs. Evans. It was delicious!" Michelle stood up and gave Mrs. Evans a motherly hug.

"And you Lily. We have to go shopping or something this summer. I never get to spend time with you anymore… and of course we have our riding lessons… assuming you haven't forgotten anything."

"Of course not!" Michelle and Lily were both on the competitive riding team at Yorkshire Riding Academy. They did mostly show jumping and cross-country. Lily wasn't quite as into it as Michelle is… but she enjoyed the challenge during the summer and she had been taking lessons since she was about seven years old. "I'm going out tomorrow morning to see if I can get an extra lesson or two in before we do groups." Lily told her. No one really knew she rode horses, especially the Marauders; imagine the horrible time they'd put her through if they found out.

"That's great!" They had reached the door "Well, I'll see you later ok? It was nice to see you again Lily."

"You too! I'll see you around" Lily smiled politely and watched Michelle walk down the first couple steps before closing the door and locking it tightly behind her. Her body felt exhausted… there was no way she could stay up until 12 waiting to tell off Potter for throwing rocks at her window. She said goodnight to her mother and made her way upstairs. It was only about 9:15 but she didn't care.

By 9:30 she had brushed her teeth, washed her face, had changed and was passed out completely on her bed. There was no way that a rock, no matter how big, slamming against her window was going to wake her up.

When James arrived home and ran upstairs, leaving Remus and Sirius in the dust. He was hungry. The house rule was no food until your trunk is unpacked… it was very effective because Sirius and James would do anything for food (including running around the street stark naked).

When Sirius and Remus arrived in James room his trunk was already halfway unpacked and he was cramming things into a drawer.

"You know your 17 now right Prongs?" Sirius chuckled.

"Yes, of course I know how old I am."

"But do you know what 17 year old wizards are allowed to do?" Remus asked him, waving his wand at his own trunk. Everything went flying out the door and into Remus' temporary room down the hall. James smacked himself in the forehead.

"You know, hitting yourself isn't going to help that naturally slow problem that you have." Sirius patted him on the back and waved his want at his trunk, having the same affect that Remus' did.

"I can't think when I'm hungry." He groaned.

"We know Prongs… we know" Remus smiled and flopped down on his bed.

"We also know you can never think when Lily Evans is around." Sirius teased him.

"I'm blinded by her beauty, what can I say?" He took a picture out of his trunk, making sure it didn't face the other two boys.

"What's that Prongsy?" Sirius asked, snatching it would of his hands. He let out a bark like laugh. "You have a picture of Evans! Wait until she finds out, she'll take you to court for stalking for sure!" James growled and leapt on Sirius, who moved out of the way quickly and ran out of the room.

"Its not illegal to keep a picture of someone Padfoot!" James roared after him. He chased Sirius out of the house and up the street and around the other one. Sirius came to a sudden stop. James skidded up beside him and snatched the picture out of his hands.

"I'm going to kill you someday Black, I really am!" James pushed Sirius in a somewhat friendly but still manly way. Sirius laughed and pushed him back. Sirius tensed up and put his fingers to his lips to make James shut up. James watched Sirius and almost chuckled when 2 black dog-ears popped up on the side of his head. They changed back and he shushed him.

"Michelle is coming around the corner." James' eyes opened wide enough to see white all around his eye. He dove into the bush closest to him with Sirius on his tail. Truth be told, Michelle was the most annoying girl that James had ever met. If their parents didn't get along then he would have ditched her years ago… but if only that was true.

She walked around the corner just like Sirius said. She was talking on that new invention, the cell phone. She giggled loudly at what the other person said.

"Oh my gawsh I know he is so gorgeous!" Michelle had the most annoying laugh of anyone James knew.

"Yea I know, James and I would be perfect together," James almost snorted. "He totally likes me… but I think he likes Lily more."

"Yea totally, I'm so much prettier than her" Sirius looked over to see James' jaw tense up. No one said anything that wasn't high praise about Lily.

"Yea, her eyes are like so ugly and her hair, oh my gawsh her hair, its like the worst color of red ever."

'_Compared to her muddy brown eyes and fake bluish black hair, she shouldn't be talking_.' James thought.

"And she's gotten so fat! Or at least she was last year" This time James really did snort. Lily had one of the most attractive bodies of any girl at their school, and he wasn't the only person who thought that. There was a poll, no lie.

"Oh my gawsh I think I just heard something in the bushes!" Michelle squeaked into the phone. You could hear her footsteps quicken and then fad away. They boys waited a safe distance before talking.

"I hate that girl." Sirius sighed, sitting up.

"Yea, and she is so ugly compared to Lily. I mean, Lily's eyes and hair are amazing and her body… its perfect." His eyes glazed over.

"And her boobs, perfect size. And her ass, its beautiful, sculpted by the Gods."

"I will kill you" James growled.

"I know, but you had that glazed over look in your eyes… it's the only way to get them to go away."

"I'm not risking seeing Jenkins (Michelle). Lets go home." James sighed and they walked back.

They walked into the house and walked into the kitchen to find Remus sitting there eating a steak.

"Where were you guys? You missed Michelle, she asked for you." James rolled his eyes and sat down at the table. A house elf rushed out of the kitchen and put a plate of steak and mashed potatoes in front of him.

"I'm glad I missed it."

"Now James don't be that way. I'm sure she's a lovely girl." Remus started.

"Underneath all that annoying fakeness." Sirius added after him. Remus considered the statement the nodded in agreement.

Somewhere during the course of the meal, Remus had convinced James and Sirius that they shouldn't go visit Lily that night. He had said something about Michelle spending the night or something. They do that often during the summer months. They finally went upstairs after 3 different desserts and fell asleep. Traveling was enough to exhaust everyone and everything, including the Marauders.

James was the last to go to sleep however. He took a quick shower and starred out his window for a while, contemplating life and what it meant. He put some boxers on and was about to climb into bed when he saw a picture lying in the floor. He sighed and stood up. He bent down and turned the picture over. It was a picture of Lily, from the neck up, and pretty close up. She was smiling broadly, she was wearing a winter hat and her cheeks were flushed from the cold weather. He had paid off a pretty good photographer from the year above them to take it 2 years ago. It was magical; she would flush a deeper shade of pink and laugh before covering her face in her scarf. She was probably out at Hogesmade with her friends, just joking around.

James smiled to himself and put the picture on his beside table, assuring himself that this wasn't in any way freaky and stalkerish. He stared at the picture for a few more seconds, trying to figure out why he couldn't give up this girl, gave up, and rolled over and drifted to sleep.

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So you met michelle! Lovely character isn't she... cough cough. She has a role, and the horse back riding thing is only going to be for one part of the story but its going to be HUGE concerning how Lily and James get together. SO, how did you like it. I want 2 good reviews from 2 different people before I post again!!!! This chapter gives me around 5000 words. I'm going to hope I get more people as the size gets larger. I know I only start to read stories after they reach 20,000 words.

Please review, it would mean a lot to me!

- Your humble servant

Megan


	3. Michelle

You guys, I'm sick with a cold from a very hot place (he double hockey sticks :D) yea, so I'm home from school sick and totally exaughsted and working on chapter 4 but had to make some changes from this chapter so... I just need a different picture of Lily's horse, it was bugging me.

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CHP. 3.

The next morning around 9 Lily was driving to the barn, decked out in her riding gear. She drove down the long unpaved road to the stables. She parked in her old space and jumped out and jogged into the barn. She didn't see anyone and started to walk down the isle saying hello to the old and new horses. She finally got to the horse she usually rode, Handy. He was a gigantic dapple-gray gelding, a warm blood. He was practically made for jumping the high jumps. She cooed and pet him for a few minutes before hearing someone behind her.

"Lily? Is that you?" Lily turned around to face the owner of the barn and her teacher, Ellen.

"Hey Ellen! It's been too long." She smiled and gave her a quick friendly hug.

"I know sweetie. Are you ready to get back in the saddle? The annual Open season show is next Saturday! I know you'll be ready."

"I just need a few lessons to get back on track. Can I set up a schedule?" Lily asked.

"I can do one in a few minutes. I'll let you tack up Handy. I just have to run to the store. You know the warm ups you need to do, no more than a walk until I get back, I need to make sure your in the right place." She grinned at her and walked out the barn door again. Lily turned around and stepped into the horse's stall.

Forty-five minutes later she was up in the saddle and walking around the gigantic ring. She did her warm ups that consisted of things you would never want to do in front of anyone you were uncomfortable with. When Ellen returned they began their lesson, everything went perfectly with the occasional correction on where she should put her hands or legs. At the end of the lesson she was jumping four-foot poles, which was just about a foot below where she jumped in her normal lessons.

"Michelle and your old class ride on Tuesdays at 11 am and Saturdays at 6 pm. I'm assuming you will want to join back with your class." Ellen informed her as Lily jumped off Handy and was walking him back to the barn.

"Of course, I'll see you then." Lily dug in her pockets for her sugar cub and fed it to Handy.

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When Lily was younger, or before she went to Hogwarts, she would go to a small ice cream shop with Michelle after their riding lessons. She had gotten so used to it that she still went, even without Michelle. It was a cute place, owned by a little old lady with excellent taste. They sold nearly every muggle flavor imaginable. Lily walked in the door and heard the familiar chiming of the small bells above the door. Lily made a beeline towards the counter. She gave her order to the younger girl working the counter and looked around. It was rather large on the inside with tons of booths and tables. She turned around when she heard loud laughing.

"LILYKINS!" It was Sirius. 'How did they find this place?' she asked herself. She suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable with what she looked like. Her tan riding pants were extremely tight all the way down to her ankles, but were hidden from the knee down by her tall black boots. She was wearing a small camisole with a light jacket on top, even though it was summer, Yorkshire could get pretty cool. She felt her face flush, immediately wishing she could hide behind her hair but it was up in a high tight ponytail.

"Hey Lily! Why don't you join us?" Michelle asked she was in the corner sucking on her strawberry ice cream. Lily smiled and nodded, turning back around to receive her ice cream. She took a deep breath; she could practically feel James' eyes burning into her back. She turned back around with a fake smile plastered on her face.

"Hello Michelle, Boys" She nodded to them all, bringing her cheesecake ice cream to her mouth.

"What are you wearing?" James asked her, staring at her boots.

"Oh, that's riding gear James. We take riding lessons in the same class during the summer." Michelle informed him, placing her hand on his arm ever so gently. Lily stared at her hand and her stomach twisted in a thousand small knots. James smiled at her and turned back to Lily.

"How come you never wear those at school?" Of course James had to think that riding meant riding a broom.

"Not that kind of riding Potter." Lily rolled her eyes.

"I really do wish you wouldn't call him Potter. It makes things sound so cold and mean" Michelle giggled and reached for his had. Apparently James noticed this and brought his hand to hair quickly. Michelle flushed and brought her hand back to her ice cream. Lily smirked.

"Don't think he likes that Michelle" Lily gave her a good glare.

"Doesn't like what Lily?" She asked, returning the glare.

"You reaching for his hand like that." Lily added, James looked utterly confused and looked from girl to girl.

"I just asked you to call him James instead of Potter. It isn't that hard" Sirius sat forward in his seat a little, secretly begging for a fight with an attention hog and a girl wearing shiny silver pointy things on her feet, tight pants, and a tiny shirt.

"I'll call him what I like, I personally enjoy calling him Potter thank you very much."

There was an awkward silence.

Followed by another awkward silence. There obviously wasn't going to be a fight today.

More awkward silence.

"Sooooooo." Sirius felt the tension obviously. "You look hot in those pants Lilykins"

"Thank you Sirius." She replied sarcastically.

"You can call Padfoot by his first name, why not me?" James asked, sitting up a tad bit straighter than before. Michelle nodded in agreement and put her hands on the table.

"Because I don't want to," she said flatly while watching Michelle's hand inch towards James' again, she felt anger bubbling somewhere in her body. James looked a bit offended but shrugged it off. "Michelle, I already told you, Potter won't like that" Michelle looked at Lily with a look she had never seen before. It was a mix of hate, jealousy, confusion, and anger with a hit of revenge. Michelle stood up quickly.

"Come on boys, obviously Lily doesn't enjoy our company."

"No, just Potter's" Michelle gave the boys a look and they stood up.

"Be seeing you soon Evans." Sirius tipped his invisible hat to her. They exchanged their goodbyes quickly. James gave her one last confused glance before walking out the door. It closed followed by the little jingling sound of the bells. Lily let out a dramatic sigh and went back to her ice cream.

---

Lily sat at her desk in her room with her face in her Transfiguration book. Tears were streaming down her face as she tried to focus on her book. She picked up the letter that her sister had slipped under her door.

Freak,

Vernon is coming over to stay for a few days. I don't want to see your freakish self or any of your freak friends. Vernon knows that you're a freak and feels the same way about you as I do. You most certainly will not speak to Vernon about your freakish ways. I hope you understand that you aren't wanted in our lives.

Petunia.

Lily let out a loud sob and dropped her book. She had been hoping that they would understand her and except her. But now all of that was gone. She could hear her mother outside of the door but she didn't come inside, knowing it was best to let her have a good cry. Lily lay her head down on her desk and let out another sob.

She had lay there for a few more minutes before she heard small tapping noises at her window. She pulled her head up and walked to the window. She opened the blinds and look down at the ground. The three Marauders were standing there, in all their glory. She whipped her eyes and opened the window.

"What do you want?" She demanded, sniffling a bit.

"Repunzel, Repunzel let down your hair!" James called up to her. Lily chocked on another sob.

"No Potter." She rolled her eyes.

"Hello Lily! Could you come down for a second, I need to ask you something important." Remus asked. Lily agreed and walked down the stairs. She opened the door to find the boys already there. Sirius was standing moodily in the shadows. Honestly, that guy could be just as moody as a girl on her period.

"You need something Remus?" Lily asked, ignoring James who was running his hands through his hair.

"Just a word." He beckoned her over to the corner. James started to follow. "Alone" Remus added, glancing at James who looked a tab betrayed but stayed put.

"What's wrong?" He asked, obviously he knew there was a better chance of finding out if James wasn't standing next to him.

"What are you talking about, nothings wrong." Lily defended herself and put some hair in her face to hide her puffy eyes.

"I might not know anything about girls but I know when ones upset. Now tell me." He demanded gently.

"Just some family problems."

"That's not all. Does it have something to do with your sister?" He asked her. Tears started to well up in her eyes. She nodded, afraid to open her mouth so the sobs would reoccur.

"I'm so sorry Lils" Remus seemed to read her mind; he knew everything about her relationship with her sister. He was her best guy friend and she intended to keep it that way.

Lily nodded and let a few tears slip. Remus saw them and put his thumbs under eyes and whipped them away. She sniffled and she felt Remus give her a friendly hug. This was too much for her. First she had a fight with Michelle then her sister tells her that she isn't wanted in her life. She sobbed as Remus' arms tightened around her.

"It's going to be alright." He whispered in her ear and rubbed her back slightly. She cried for a few minutes, Remus had fended off James two times, who kept trying to intervene in the hugging. She pulled away and whipped the tears off her face.

"Thanks." She smiled at him slightly. He nodded and they turned to go back to Sirius and James, who was looking angrier than a cat that was just dunked in freezing cold water.

"I'm sorry, we just had to work something out." Remus coughed awkwardly. James made a noise of disagreement.

"What?" Remus asked.

"Looked like more than working something out." He glared at Remus. Lily looked at James and then to Remus in surprise. Was James going to get all out of sorts over this?

Remus ignored him and turned back to Lily. "I'm sorry about your sister."

"Thank you." She gave him a small smile.

"How come I never get a thank you?" James asked, offended. 'Honestly, these boys could be so incredibly moody' Lily thought, rolling her eyes.

"Because you never deserve one." Lily shot at him.

"Of course I do!"

"Well, what have you done worth rewarding?" Lily asked, standing up straighter and looking him in the eye. Her green eyes flashed with anger, right now was a good time to mess with her.

"I didn't throw rocks at your house last night!"

"At that's something to thank you for?" Lily laughed mockingly. "What is wrong with you today?!" Lily glared at him.

"What's wrong with me? No, what's wrong with you! You started a fight with Michelle today for no good reason and now your getting defensive about me wanting a thank you."

"I am not getting defensive!" her voice was a tab bit raised and she stepped closer to him. "And you don't deserve a thank you for anything!"

"I didn't ask you out today! That deserves a simple thanks." Lily's face got an even darker shade of red.

"Maybe I just figured that you have finally figured out that there was nothing that anyone could prevail me to agree to go out with you! And that you finally figured out that I thought you were a bullying toe rag that's head has gotten to big to fit through the doors of the Great Hall." Lily took in a shaky breath. "Maybe you figured out that I thought you are the most arrogant person alive and I can't stand it when you ask me out to a stupid Hogesmade date. And perhaps you know that I can't stand it when you go around and hex people for no reason and then expect me to praise you for it." Lily now had tears coming into her eyes; she looked into James' eyes and saw how hurt her words made him. She grew angrier every second and lost control of her words. Her voice got low and threatening and she took a step closer so that her nose was just a few inches away from his. "And perhaps you realized that I can not stand the sight of your gigantic head and unruly hair and that I would rather join Voldemort's ranks that have to spend more than a minute with you alone." She gave him one final look before spinning around, making sure her hair hit him in the face, and slamming the door in their faces.

Lily stormed up the stairs and picked up her pillows and threw them all into the wall. She looked out her window to see three young men walking down the street. The boy in the middle had his shoulders slumped on his friends on both sides looked like their were patting him on the back. Lily almost felt bad for what she had said, but decided it was right to tell him what she really thought about him.

---

Remus followed James up the stairs and into his room. He hadn't spoken since Lily had blown up on him. Sirius tried to be funny and made jokes about some of the things Lily had said but only ended up getting punched in the face. Remus closed the door behind him and turned around to James who was lying down on his bed.

"She'd rather join Voldemort that go out with me." He muttered.

"She was just angry." Remus tried to reassure him.

"She knows how much I hate that bastard." James growled.

"Lily didn't mean those things, she was just angry, she was already upset and on the edge, you just pushed her off."

"Well, if you weren't all over her, this wouldn't have happened." James barked at him.

"I was just trying to be a good friend Prongs." Remus looked at his feet, maybe he had been too friendly with Lily but he was just trying to do the right thing.

"I can't deal with this anymore." James sighed. "I can't keep telling myself it's going to happen. It obviously never will."

"Don't say that Prongs. She likes you, I can tell."

"If she liked me any more she would set the killing curse on me." Remus chuckled.

"She doesn't see it yet, but its there."

"I can't keep doing this to myself, Moony." James punched his pillow. "I need to forget about her…"

"I doubt you can, your family's are friends and you see each other nearly every day."

"I'll move to Ireland or something"

"I doubt that would go over well with your parents."

"True. I need something closer to home."

"Prongs, she'll only hate you more if you do this."

"I doubt she could. Now who is around here?" He asked himself. "Michelle."

"James…" Remus warned him.

"Stop it Remus, I'm going to do this. I have to get over her. She can't keep doing this to me, and I can't keep crawling back to her." Remus frowned at him, disappointed.

"She is going to hate you after this, even more than she thinks she does."

"Good" James said, "I need her out of my life" He ended the conversation and Remus walked out of his room shaking his head sadly.

* * *

Lily's Horse- h t t p / w w w . t h e i r i s h h o r s e .c o m / i m a g e s / s i l v e r i r i s h s p o r t h o r s e . j p g minus the spaces in the places...

So please R&R and I'll love you forever! I know whats going to happen next and you dont so I think you should review to give me extra writing juice :D


	4. Head Girl?

So I'm still sick, its only been a few hours since I posted the last chapter but... w/e. I have a bitch of a cold and I haven't even bought my friends their christmas presents yet... or my family! Oh my I'm a terrible person. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow.

* * *

Chp4- Head Girl?

A few days passed with no action from James or Lily. Lily attended her riding lessons; James practiced Quittich and stayed at home. So far, Lily and Michelle hadn't exchanged many words. It was Tuesday morning now; Lily was driving to her riding lesson. As soon as she got there she was practically jumped on by Michelle, which she found odd.

"OH MY GOD Lily! Lets put our differences behind us for right now. GUESS WHAT!" Michelle squealed.

"What?" Lily asked, trying to squirm herself out of Michelle's oddly firm grasp.

"James… James asked me out!" Lily's stomach started to twist again. "Can you believe it? After all of these years!" Lily looked her in the eyes, she looked genuinely happy. Lily found it hard to be happy for her, but she had liked James since they first met.

"That's amazing! I'm so excited for you." Lily slapped on the fake smile again and gave Michelle a hug.

"He's taking me to some nice French restaurant tonight, it's going to be so amazing. I knew he liked me, I just knew it!" Her bluish black hair bounced up and down as she danced around the barn isle.

"That's great!" Her fake excitement was running out. "But, we have to get ready, we have 20 minutes!" Lily walked to her horse's stall and started to groom. Michelle started to talk to her across the isle.

"I wonder how long he's liked me…" She asked.

"I don't know… he doesn't tell me anything." Lily replied.

"Oh this is going to be perfect!" Michelle said more to herself than to Lily.

_'Lily, what is wrong with you? Finally after all of these years he's going out with someone else. He's over you. You should be excited. Not angry.'_ A voice in her head told her.

**'Your just afraid that he's forgotten you.'** Another voice popped up.

'_He hasn't forgotten me… He's just realized that I'm not romantically interested in him. Or that I'm not interested in him in any way.'_

**'No, your interested. You adore him, everything about him.'**

_'What is there to adore, his egotistical remarks, asking me out everyday, his arrogance is the size of Africa, and he hexes anything that walks.'_

**'And he's handsome and charming-'**

_'Charming, ha'_

**'He's your guy, he always will be. You don't want to loose him now. He's your property, no one touches him. You might not think you like him, but you do.'** Lily rolled her eyes, wishing this strange and delusional voice away.

_'Whatever, I don't feel that way about Potter… now go away.'_

"Lily, are you even listening to me?" Michelle called across the barn.

"Of course I am, go ahead." Lily called back.

"I was just asking if thought he had nice hair." Lily thought for a second.

"I dare say he does." Lily stroked the neck of the horse thinking about her answer.

_'Maybe you do have feelings for him.'_

---

"I can't believe you just did that James Potter." Sirius asked, slapping James on the back. "I'm so proud of you, your finally growing up and getting over your childish fantasies." James rolled his eyes and walked to the Quittich pitch that was hidden in the woods behind his house.

"Shut up Padfoot." James shoved him in the arm, making him bump into a tree.

"I'm just saying, she couldn't be good for you. After the things she had the nerve to say about you, I would have done the same thing."

"And that's what I'm afraid of." James gave him a grin and Sirius put his hand over his heart in an offended manner.

"So, remind me again, why isn't Remus coming with us?"

"Because he doesn't enjoy the game of Quittich, says it reminds him of his furry little problem." James replied matter of factly.

"So what about Peter? Haven't seen him around in a few months."

"He says that his mother has some rare illness. Honestly, you need to stay informed."

"I do pay attention, but I'm usually too intoxicated to remember it the next day" Sirius chuckled.

"Ha ha Padfoot. You know that you just don't pay attention."

"Very true." He rubbed his chin in a thoughtful manner, "So, Michelle… I thought you hated her."

"Hate? That's too strong. Maybe just strongly dislike."

"Then why the hell are you going out with her? There are much better girls out there."

"Because, she's the only girl that I know in Yorkshire besides Lily and that freaky girl with the head gear."

"Very true. But you could go clubbing and find a different one."

"Clubbing isn't really my thing, you know that Pad."

"I know, but you could always try." James shrugged. "So is this plan working yet?"

"It seems to have the opposite effect."

"Do you think it will?"

"Probably not."

"Then why are you trying?"

"I don't know. It's time for a change I guess." James shrugged again. They walked out of the trees to the miniature Quittich Pitch. "Now, lets play mini Quittich." He smiled and climbed onto his broom.

---

Lily got home around 3 that afternoon and threw her keys in her purse as she opened the door. She walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge, pulling out some chocolate chip and cookie dough ice cream. She had skipped the ice cream parlor that after noon to get away from Michelle. She plopped down on her couch and flipped the TV on and watched some of the 'I Love Lucy' episodes.

It was around 5 pm now and Lily was still sitting there, her ice cream bowl was empty and she was slumped over in an unattractive position thinking about how Michelle and James' date is going to go. She had already imagined Michelle chocking on bread and dying, which she pushed out of her head, shunning herself for thinking such a thing. She heard pecking at her living room window and stood up to open the window. A snowy white owl flew in; she recognized this as Charli's owl, Genevieve. Lily let out an excited squeak and grabbed the letter off of the owl, beckoning her to her shoulder. She walked to the kitchen as she read the letter.

_Lillers,_

_I hope your summer is going well. I know it's only been a week and a half but I just had to write to you. My brother, Alex, got into Auror Academy! I was so excited I swear I burned a whole pound just jumping up and down and screaming. He was so happy; this has been his dream for years! Anyways, enough about me! How are you? Is James bothering you still? I still think you should go out with him; he's such a hunk! Haha, anyways, I hear that Izzy was shipped to America to visit her Uncle or something. Oh yea, I was wondering if you would like to come and spend some time at my house, or I'll come to yours. I hope to see you soon, OWL me back Ok?_

_Charli_

Lily grinned; she thought she was going to go crazy if she didn't get any mail from a friend. She grabbed some owl treats out of a jar and fed the owl and wrote her reply, nothing special, just telling about Michelle and James. She sent to owl off again and went upstairs. She changed into her sweat pants and a camisole and running shoes. Lily wasn't a runner but she tried nonetheless. It let out a great deal and stress. She tied her hair up into a high ponytail and opened the front door of her house. It was an excellent night for running; the air was the perfect temperature, 74, and it wasn't humid. The sun had already set and the stars twinkled overhead as she jumped off the steps and immediately started to jog her heart out.

She didn't know why but she felt like she had to jog to Michelle's house, when she arrived she stopped and put her hands on her waist, staring up at her window. She frowned as she caught her breath. She saw movement inside and Lily decided to take off. She made a loop around the neighborhood and then made her way to James' street, Ogburn Rd. She saw a figure walking up to the house and as she got closer she realized it was Michelle. Lily continued jogging, praying not to be noticed. It must have been time for their date. She jogged in front of the house, keeping her focus straight ahead but she heard it.

"Lily! Hey!" Michelle called. Lily stopped, pretending like she never saw Michelle.

"Oh hey! I didn't see you." Lily waved and turned to continue on her way.

"Oh hey Evans." Lily's head snapped back, she saw James standing there with his hands shoved in his pockets. He had just called her by her last name! She stared at him with huge eyes.

"Hello." She said politely. Michelle dragged him over to her for a quick chat. Lily looked at her feet and then her nails. She suddenly felt guilty for all of those things she said to him.

"So Lils, how have you been since this morning?" Michelle asked, linking her arm in James'.

"Um, fine. I got a letter from a friend. Her brother was accepted in a prestigious police academy." James head shot up.

"Alex got in?" He asked.

"Yes." Lily replied shortly. James coughed quietly.

"That's good, I know he's been looking forward to it." He scratched his head with his free hand. He looked up at Lily and accidentally caught her eyes. Lily stared back into his eyes; they masked sadness, confusion, and depression.

Michelle shifted awkwardly on her feet noticing that her new boyfriend and his long time crush were staring each other in the eye.

"Well, Lily we must be going. We have a reservation at the best French restaurant in town. Fleur De Lis, doesn't it sound beautiful?" James blushed, knowing that Lily had a grasp on French; she had some family in France. Lily looked at James sharply; the name of the restaurant in English was "Lily Flower". Her parents used to take her there for her birthday, they that it was queer that it was her nickname.

"Oh yes, I eat there on my birthday sometimes. It's a beautiful restaurant, I hope you have a good time." Lily smiled politely.

"See you later Lily." Michelle grinned back, James gave her a one last long look and gave her a small half smile and they walked to the car. Lily turned started to jog home.

_'Does he still have feelings for me?'_

**'Obviously, he is taking his new girlfriend to a restaurant called "Lily Flower", it's your chance, go get him.'**

_'No, I don't like him and I never will, now leave me alone!'_

Lily quickened her pace to where she was practically sprinting. She blocked out all thoughts until she got home, then she sprinted up her steps and collapsed on her bed. She glanced to her bed stand to see the time, it was only 8… Lily almost turned around when she saw a letter tucked under her alarm clock. She reached over and pulled it towards her. It was from the school. She opened it, curious to why they would be sending her a letter this early in the summer.

_Dear Miss Evans,_

_Due to your exceptional grades and excellent record you have been placed on a list of recommended choices for Head Girl. We would like you to write an essay as to why you should be the one chosen for the position. This is a serious matter and if you don't want the job then you should not bother to reply. The essay will be due in two weeks time. Thank you for your time and we wish to hear from you soon._

_Albus Dumbledore_

Lily sat up quickly. _'Me? Head Girl? This is amazing, I can't believe they would consider me for such a position!'_ Lily thought, throwing her legs over the side of her bed she ran down the stairs as fast as her legs can carry her.

"Mum! I've been recommended for Head Girl! Mum! Dad!" Lily slid into the kitchen on her socks to find her parents sitting their watching TV.

"Yes Lily dear?" Her mother asked, tearing her eyes away from the TV.

"I was recommended for Head Girl!" Lily's eyes shone with excitement and she shoved the letter into her mother's face.

"Sweetie this is great! We must go celebrate." Her father stood up and wrapped her in a slightly manly hug. "Lets go to Fleur De Lis. It is your favorite restaurant after all." Lily's face dropped.

"How about we celebrate tomorrow night?" Lily had no intention of running into James on his date.

"Your mother and I are both on call tomorrow night Sweets." Her father told her.

"I'm not feeling the French food right now though… why don't we just go get ice cream?" She asked.

"Alright, if you insist." Her mother sat up and went to get her purse. "And, as a present, do you want an owl?" Lily jumped up and down in excitement.

"An owl? Oh yes of course I would love an owl! You have clue how hard it is to mail people without one." Lily grabbed her mother into a hug. Lily ran upstairs and grabbed her shoes and ran back down.

"Ready?" Her father asked.

"Yea lets go." She grabbed her purse and they sped off to everyone's favorite Ice Cream Parlor.

* * *

So, this story isn't going anywhere... at the moment but its going to get packed with action in a chapter or so... and its going to be AMAZING evil laugh maybe a good review or 2 is going to make me write the chapter in question.

cough cough yea R&R please.

And i brought in the **evil concious** aren't I terrible?

R&R please

-yours truly-

Megan


	5. Call Me James

Yay! I got 2 reviews! One I'm not so sure about whether its happy or angry :) but I'll take it as happy.

HarryPotterFreak- Is your name really Michelle Jenkins... thats so incredibly cool!

palomapotter- Heres your action... TADA

* * *

Chap 5- James 

The next few weeks passed with little change. Michelle and James were still going steady, according to Michelle. Lily barely saw her except when she had her lessons. Remus went home to visit his mother and Sirius decided to buy a flat with some money he inherited. Lily hadn't done anything interesting except write her essay, which she sent in a week early. Lily's birthday was coming up, in 2 weeks to be exact and her parents were already planning her party.

"Lily, I want you to send these invitations to these address's." Her mother told her, handing her a bundle of white envelopes. Her mother decided to have a party with adults and her friends. Lily walked over and picked up the envelopes, flipping through them she saw some of the neighbors, Michelle's house, and James'. Lily sighed in frustration, wishing she could uninvited them, but this is how it had been for years

"Fine, I'll be back in a bit." Lily stepped into her shoes and set off down the street, ringing the doorbell and giving them the invitation personally, her mother always said that was the most polite way to administer an invitation. She reached Michelle's house where no one answered so she put the envelope in her mailbox.

It was hot out that day, around 85, which is hot for Yorkshire. She could feel her face reddening and sweat coming to her forehead (she was glistening in other words). She Reached James' house and took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. There was a loud clatter and an "I'll get it!" and the clicking of a door open.

"Oh Lily it is so nice to see you again!" Celeste said, opening the door for her to enter.

"You too Mrs. Potter. I was just stopping by to give you this." She pulled the invitation out of her pocket.

"Thank you Lily. How have you been?" James' head popped out of the doorway to his living room.

"I've been good. I was recommended for Head Girl." Lily half bragged. She saw James walk out of the living room completely. Mrs. Potter gave a gasp of surprise.

"Oh my! Jamesie here was also recommended to be a Head." She ushered James towards her, he came reluctantly keeping his head to the ground. Lily looked shocked, how could someone even think about giving James the position? He was rude, arrogant, a big, and a bully!

"I was so surprised when we got the letter. I almost had half the mind to Owl Dumbledore back and as him if he made a mistake." Celeste laughed and put her arm around her son, who was about a head and a half taller than her.

"Congratulations Lily on being recommended, I know you've wanted this position for a long time now." He added politely. Lily nodded towards him.

They stood at the door a chatted a few more minutes before Lily heard a high pitch bell ringing. James perked up slightly.

"Oh! That's the dinner bell." Mrs. Potter said.

"Oh well, I better get going." Lily said, turning towards the door.

"No none of that, why don't you stay and eat here. Its getting dark out and you shouldn't walk home alone." Celeste said frightfully. Lily gave her a confused look. "Voldemort just attacked a village not to far from here, I don't want you to be outside when it's dark ok?" she said, trying not to sound like she was too afraid. "Besides, the house elves always make more than we can eat and Harold has to work tonight." Lily glanced at James whose face seemed to be saying 'just go along with it.'

"Alright, I guess that's alright." Lily gave in too easily sometimes. This was going to be an awkward dinner.

"Excellent, James will walk you home after dinner." James' head shot up at his mother, as did Lily's.

They walked to the dining room and sat down in respectable spots, mother at the head of the table, James and Lily on the opposite sides. The house elves brought out plates and plates of food, placing them on various places on the table. There was silence for a few minutes until there was a popping sound outside the door and the sound of a door being burst open.

"Honey I'm home!!!" called the deep voice of Sirius Black. He appeared a few seconds later. "Oh great, just in time for dinner!" He exclaimed, helping himself to the food.

"It's good to see you Sirius, how is your flat doing?" Celeste asked him.

"Wonderful, though the food isn't anywhere near as good as yours Mrs. Potter."

"You can thank the house elves for that."

Lily learned throughout dinner that Sirius came by most nights to eat dinner and then headed back out to his flat. Mrs. Potter had always thought of him as a second son and he was welcome to come and go at any time.

They finished up dinner with a cheesecake (that was delicious might I add). Sirius said his thank yous and good byes and popped out. Mrs. Potter shook her head after he left.

"I still can't believe he's grown up and bought his own flat. I never thought that day would come." She chuckled to herself then looked up at Lily. "So Lily, would you like any coffee or tea?" She asked.

"No thank you, I really must be going, my parents will start to get worried." Lily said while picking up her napkin and placing it on the table.

"It was nice seeing you again Lily." Mrs. Potter and the two teenagers stood up and walked towards the front door. "James." She nodded toward him and he returned it. He had been oddly solemn during dinner. "I'll see you at your party, if not before then." She said, giving Lily a motherly hug. Lily said her goodbye and walked out the door with James behind her.

They walked quietly for a couple of seconds that seemed like hours. Lily, going crazy with the silence, finally spoke up.

"How's Michelle, I haven't seen her much."

"She's alright I guess." James shrugged. Lily raised her eyebrow at him.

"You guess? She's your girlfriend, you should know how she is." She smirked at him.

"Very true… How have you been?" He asked her, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Fine."

There was an awkward silence.

Followed by another one.

"Do you even like Michelle?" Lily asked, out of the blue. James looked up, torn about what he should say. He decided to be honest.

"Not really." He said shortly. Lily stopped in her tracks.

"Then why are you going out with her? She's liked you since you moved here." She was secretly glad that he didn't like her, but he would never know.

"She doesn't really know me though. She just liked the thought of going out with me." Lily rolled her eyes, so arrogant.

"Then why are you dating her?" She asked, starting to walk again. Again, James was stumped as to what to say next. Again he decided to go with the truth, he was having an honest kind of night.

"Because, when I got home after that night you screamed all of your thoughts at me, I figured that I should stop trying." Lily looked at him, and he looked her straight in the eye. "I guess I figured it was pointless to keep going after someone who will never like you in return." James stopped walking, as did Lily. " She's the only girl that I know around here… so I decided to go for it."

"So, your telling me that the only reason your going out with Michelle… is to get over me." She asked him. He nodded, keeping eye contact with her.

"Is it working?" She asked him, almost afraid of the reply.

"No." Lily blushed slightly.

"Do you think it will?"

"Probably not." Suddenly he was tired of trying to get over her. He knew all along that it would never happen; the hole he had dug himself into was way to deep to ever climb out of. Lily looked away and James took this as the opportunity to make a slight move. He put his hand on her shoulder and maneuvered her shoulder in such away that she had to look up into his eyes.

"I know you think that I'm just an egotistical prat who doesn't give a damn about anyone but himself, but I do. I care about you more than anything; I care about your opinion above anyone else's. When you said all of those things, I understood what you were saying and made it a point to fix it." He searched her eyes for any type of emotion, he found none but continued anyways. "I love you Lily, more than anything I'll ever know." Her eyes widened to about the size of a frying pan, James looked at her and went for it. He put his hand behind her neck and pulled her up towards him ever so gently and kissed her.

Lily could barely move she was in such shock. She finally came to her senses though and pulled away.

"I can't…" She whispered before turning her heel and running. Thoughts were swarming in her head. She didn't stop until she was in her room and locked the door.

_'What just happened?'_ she thought.

**'James just kissed you idiot.'** It was the damn evil conscious, back to ruin her life.

_'I know that… but why.'_

**'Because he loves you, that's what he said. And you enjoyed it, I'm part of your body, I was there too so don't you dare say you didn't.'**

_'I didn't… I didn't. I can't, I won't!'_ Lily thought frantically.

**'But you did.'**

**_'No! No! NO! This can't be happening. I can't fancy James.'_**

**'You just called him James…'**

_'Shit!'_

"Lily, are you alright?" She heard a feminine voice outside her door, it was her mother.

"I'm fine." She called back to her.

"You sure? You ran upstairs pretty fast." _'Shit…'_

"I just remember I had to finish a Charms assignment." She lied.

"Alright, goodnight Sweetie."

"Night."

---

It was Saturday night… about 5 to be exact. About an hour before her riding lesson and Lily was running down the stairs like a headless chicken, mumbling various types of profanity along with "I'm late!" Yorkshire Stables was about 30 minutes away and Lily needed about 45 to get her horse ready. She had taken a nap and her parents went out and didn't wake her up.

Lily pulled on her tall boots and pulled on a collared polo type of shirt over her camisole. She grabbed her keys and ran to her car. She didn't count how many yellow lights she sped through and wasn't paying attention to how fast she was going but she got there in about 35 minutes, due to Saturday traffic. She sped down the driveway and pulled into a parking space, she jumped out and slammed the car door and she jogged to the barn. She saw the two other girls (besides Michelle) tacking their horses up in the isle. She said hello to them. One of them pointed out that her shirt was inside out.

"Shit, today is not my day." She growled as she took the shirt off in the middle of the isle (she's wearing a camisole under this remember that!).

"Hey Lily!" She heard Michelle say. She turned around to say hello back and almost jumped out of her skin when she saw James staring at her not very well covered upper body.

"What are you doing here?" She gasped, pulling her shirt over her head quickly.

"I invited him, he said he's been dying to see me ride." Michelle giggled, wrapping her arm around James.

Lily nodded and opened the door to Handy's stall. He was standing their happily munching his hay. She tossed the halter on him and started to brush him. She looked over to the door to see James standing there.

"Nice horse." He said simply.

"Thank you, his name is Handy."

"I can read." He pointed to the nameplate on his leather halter. Lily shrugged and went back to grooming.

"Between you and me, Handy is much more attractive than Mario." Mario was Michelle's horse. He was a big (17hands of nothing but muscle) light brown thoroughbred with a bad attitude. He was the head horse in his pasture but that didn't stop him from beating on the little guys. He was an excellent horse though; he would go far if he kept up training.

Lily smiled at him and said a quick thanks. When she looked up again he was gone. Lily continued the whole cleaning process for a few more minutes then rushed out to get her riding gear. She walked into the tack room to find Michelle with her arms around James while staring at him dreamily. She was saying something to him and he cracked a small smile. Lily's stomach did flips; they were right in front of the spot where she kept all of her gear.

James looked up and saw her, letting go of Michelle's waist. Michelle turned around to see who was there.

"Excuse me." Lily said politely and reached past them.

"You have some hair on you." She heard James mutter and then she felt slight pressure on her back. "There."

"Um, Thanks." She grabbed her saddle and other things and walked out again, her stomach was still doing flips and her face was the color of her hair.

James came to her stall again while she was tacking up.

"Um Lily…" He said.

"Yea?"

"I just wanted to apologize for what happened the other day. I shouldn't have done that." He looked at his fingers as he said it. Lily looked up at him quickly, he looked sincere enough.

"It's ok." She replied.

"Why did you run off?" Lily took a second to answer this question, choosing her words carefully.

"You're dating my friend…" that was only about a tenth of why she ran but she decided not to mention the other ones.

"James! Where'd you go?" Michelle called. James looked at Lily, who looked at him and then he turned around.

---

Lily was nervous, the most nervous she had ever been for a lesson. Handy knew it too, people always said that a horse can read your emotions like a book… and Lily could tell you honestly and with experience that it was true. They were riding in the closed arena; James took his place in the small stands on the other side. The arena was gigantic but Lily could feel his eyes on her. As soon as she mounted Handy reared, but Lily knew how to handle that. She tapped him between the ears and he went back to the ground immediately.

"What's wrong Lily?" Ellen called from the door.

"I don't know." She yelled back.

"Fix it, we have a show next week." Lily nodded and fixed everything that needed to be fixed.

They did the appropriate warm ups, Handy would randomly side step and shake his head whenever Lily didn't have a firm hold on his mouth. Ellen called further directions for them and they followed them. They cantered (kind of like a run/gallop except slower for you non horse people) around expertly. Lily could feel something different but ignored it.

Soon they started the jumping part of the lesson. Michelle went first, jumping 4 ½ feet, doing it expertly. Lily went next, doing it even better and faster than Michelle. They other two girls did fine. Everything was going perfectly fine and Ellen told them to do a jumping course (a bunch of jumps). Lily went last, she kicked Handy into a canter, which he politely obeyed, and they flew over the first 3 jumps. Handy rushed towards the next one and knocked one of the poles down, which made Lily a bit nervous, she tightened her grip on his mouth and pointed him to the next jump. She could feel the horse's muscles tighten and stride become shorter, she got more anxious. She looked over and saw James watching her with interest; her stomach did flip-flops again.

From then on everything went in slow motion.

---

James was slightly concerned from the start, Lily's horse was misbehaving and Lily was getting frustrated. He knew flying was much more safe than this, brooms weren't unpredictable and living like these horses are. He was watching her jump a course of ten jumps right now; all the other horses had already gone. His attention sparked when the horse let out a grunt and rushed towards the jump and knocked a pole down. He saw Lily tighten her grip on the reins and it was obvious that the horse was tense.

Lily glanced over at him but looked quickly back, the horse was practically quivering with excitement. They approached the jump and the horse soared over it and landed to take the next jump only a few strides after it, suddenly the horse, overcome by excitement, stopped directly in front of the 5-foot jump, throwing Lily forward. Then he decided to do a flying leap over it, except he didn't have enough speed. James froze in fear as the horse got half way across the jump before his legs got tangled and he twisted, throwing Lily off and under his big 1,150 pound body. She tumbled to the ground and landed on a couple of the poles, breaking two in half. The horse landed a few feet away on his side.

James stood up and vaulted himself over the fence. From what he could tell Lily wasn't moving. He saw the other girls jump off their horses; Ellen rushed forward and grabbed Handy, who was limping slightly. She handed him to another girl and told her to take him to the barn. James skidded to a stop beside her. She wasn't moving, her eyes were closed and the broken pieces of the poles were all around her.

He heard the girls around him ordering each other to call an ambulance and put the other horses up. Ellen got down to her knees beside Lily and checked her pulse. She nodded to herself. James assumed that meant that she had a pulse.

"Can't we move her?!" James asked frantically.

"No, she might have damage to her spine and it will only get worse if we move her." Ellen looked up at the girls standing around. "Did anyone call an ambulance?" One of the girls nodded. Michelle looked officially scared. "Go ahead and remove her helmet." James nodded and fumbled with the helmet. His knuckles rubbed across her neck and it sent a shock through his arm. He pulled the helmet off her head gently. He put his hand under her head and let it slowly drop to the ground. Her hair fell out and looked like a flower of blood around her head.

James couldn't remember a moment in his life when he was more scared than he was now.

---

Lily groaned and opened her eyes. She was in a pure white room that smelled strongly of disinfectant. She heard movement around her but her eyes weren't in focus. She tried to turn her head but a sharp pain ran through her whole body.

"Shhh don't move Lils." She heard a voice say.

"Where am I?" She asked.

"St. Mungo's. It took forever to get you out of that muggle hospital." The voice said. Lily's eyes started to un blur a bit, she saw flowers and chairs around the room.

"What happened?"

"You had a riding accident." The voice said.

"Why can't I move my neck?" She asked.

"Because you damaged your back really bad." She was figuring out now that this voice was male and younger.

"Who are you?" Lily asked, she still couldn't make out his features.

"It's me, James."

"Oh." Lily breathed out.

"You sound disappointed." He chuckled.

"How long have I been here?" She asked, ignoring his last statement.

"Just a couple of days." He replied. "But, I have to go, visiting hours are over. Get well soon Lily." She felt his hand over hers.

"Goodbye Potter."

"Call me James."

"I'll see you soon, James"

* * *

**TADA!!!!** theres your action for today. Its not over yet though. 

I want some reviews please R&R R&R R&R

I've been writing this nearly all day between christmas shopping.

Michelle's horse- h t t p / w w w . h u n t e r p o i n t e f a r m . c o m / r e i d t r a v e r s e c i t y 1 . j p g

She called him James!

Yours forever,

Megan


	6. Of hospitals and Birthdays

Hello guys, long time no see. I was absent last thursday and friday so I had SOOO much crap to make up. So I'm back now, its Christmas Break HORRAY! Thank you to those who reviewed.

eLLIPHANT/Elli- Thank you! I update as often as I can. I have a new puppy to take care of, a horse, school, and christmas on my mind right now... but i'm trying. Thanks so much for reviewing!

* * *

Chp 6- Birthdays

It had been a few days since Lily's incident and she had recovered nicely. St. Mungo's was able to heal all of her injuries quickly without much pain. She would be going home the next day, but for now she was talking to James, who had been her constant companion during her stay.

"I hate these gowns… they are so" Lily paused. "Uncomfortable." James raised his eyebrows.

"They look fine to me." James was ignorant to hospital clothes, if you have even been to one, they make you wear a cheap gown that closes up in the back, but it still exposes your whole back and butt.

"It doesn't close all the way in the back." Lily squirmed and turned her back slightly towards him. He cracked a grin, so it did expose the back. "I'm going to complain about this."

"Well, I'm not complaining…" he chuckled and Lily glared at him.

"Shut up before I throw my pillow at you." She said, pulling the pillow out from behind her back. James let out a hearty laugh. Lily laughed also and threw the pillow at his face. James picked up the pillow and tossed it back to her, she hugged the pillow close to her and looked at him curiously.

"So why are you here?" She asked. James took a few seconds to answer.

"Nothing better to do." He sighed, "And I figured you would need someone to talk to, since your parents can't visit often."

"Well, thanks, you've been great company." They had grown extremely close and James hadn't made a move once. Sirius and Remus had stopped by, Remus brought a gigantic chunk of chocolate and Sirius tried to convince her that it was his idea but he didn't have any money. Charli came by twice with presents. Izzy sent her a get well and 'I wish I wasn't in America so I could visit you' card.

"I'm going to go get lunch. Do you want anything?" James asked, standing up and rummaging through his pockets.

"Uh, do they have chocolate cake?" Lily asked, slouching back on her pillow. James nodded as he pulled out a change bag.

"Ok, chocolate cake and a butter beer. Hold on a second, I'll give you some money." Lily opened the drawer beside her bed.

"No, I'll get it. As a get well present." He smiled and she returned it.

"Thank you." She said simply as she watched him walk out.

Lily was left alone with her thoughts and that evil conscience that kept coming back at the most inconvenient times.

'_He's so nice…_' she thought _'even though he is an egotistical and arrogant pig.'_ She finished strongly.

'**You are totally in love with him.'** Lily's face flushed a slight pink.

_'Am not! He's just a friend.'_

**'That** **visits you in the hospital almost all day.'**

_'Who has nothing else to do but visit me.'_ She fought back.

**'Who buys you chocolate cake and butter beer.'**

_'Who has a lot of money and is trying to make me feel better.'_ She argued, sometimes she really couldn't stand this conscience thing

**'Stop kidding yourself Lillian! Your head over heels for him!'** she heard herself growl slightly.

_'I am not!'_

'**Are too.'**

_'Jesus Christ woman! Get over yourself, James is nothing more than a friend and he will never be. Plus, he's going out with Michelle.'_ There was a brief pause from the conscience.

**'You love him'** Lily let out a very loud ugh and punched her pillow.

"Anger management?" She heard a voice by the door ask. She glanced towards it; it was James, clad with 2 pieces of chocolate cake, butter beer, and Shepard's pie.

"I couldn't get the pillow to fluff right." She said quickly. James looked at her strangely but walked over and gave her the cake and beverage anyways.

"You know those pillows, always causing problems." He grinned at her. She tipped her bottle towards him.

"Exactly. If they weren't so comfy I would say 'screw them all'." James laughed and dug into his pie. Lily picked thoughtfully at her cake for a few minutes, eating a bite or two before looking back up at James.

"How's Michelle?" 'That was bold.' She thought to herself. James gave her a strained look and put his fork down.

"I don't know." He sighed, knowing this wasn't the end of the conversation; he didn't try to take another bite.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I broke things off with her." James sighed again and leaned back in his chair. "Things just weren't right between us, she's a nice girl but if felt like she was looking for way more than I wanted to give."

"That's too bad." Lily said politely, frowning for affect.

"She just wasn't the girl for me…" he stared at her intently; Lily started to get nervous and changed the subject immediately.

"So my birthday is in a few weeks and everyone is expecting me to be in the hospital." She took a sip of butterbeer. "This ought to be interesting."

"It should be, maybe we'll just tell them that you fell off while just running around in a circle."

"That'll work. I hope Michelle didn't tell everyone what happened."

"Seems like something she would do."

"Exactly" Lily took a bite of her chocolate cake. They sat in silence a few more seconds before a ball of energy came pounding into the room.

"LILY!!!!!" The black haired ball came bounding towards her bed; it jumped in the air, flew, and landed right on her. Smushing her completely underneath all his weight.

"Sweet Merlin Sirius get off me!" Lily screeched, squirming under him.

"It's ok Lils, just embrace the pain, it won't go away if you ignore it."

"I'm not going to embrace you, you gigantic pain in the ass." Lily laughed, trying to shove him off of her. Sirius let out a bark of a laugh and rolled off the tiny bed. He landed ungracefully on his butt. James grabbed his arm and pulled him up, laughing himself.

"How are you feeling?" Sirius asked, straightening out his clothes.

"Now that you've rebroken her back… I think she's fine." They all shared a small laugh.

"I'm fine Sirius." Lily said, pulling her hair back and fixing her hospital gown.

"So you're getting out of here tomorrow right?" He asked.

"Yes! Finally. I can't stand this place… that white walls, the smell of antiseptics, the doctors coming in here at 3 in the morning." Lily counted off.

"Yes, that was rather annoying…" James added.

"What? You've been here while I was asleep?" She asked, alarmed.

"Gosh James your such a perv." Sirius pushed him playfully. "Spying on girls in hospitals, wearing completely scandalous night dresses." James looked completely horrified.

"I meant, I meant that the first night you were here I stayed because no one else was able to stay because your parents were already in surgery and my parents were gone and no one else was allowed in here because they are muggles. I'm sorry I didn't mean to." He blew out in one breath, blushing a deep shade of red._ 'Aw, he's so cute when he blushes'_ Lily thought. _'I mean, what a perv!'_

"Uh huh, sure Prongsie Boy." Sirius chuckled, slapping James on the back multiple times. "So Lily, excited to be getting out? Your birthday smash is in 5 days. I dare say I'm looking forward to it." Lily smiled and answered with a nod before slipping under covers and curling up into a ball.

James and Sirius took this as it was time for her afternoon nap and went off into a corner and played chess for a few hours. Lily fell asleep quickly, hospitals always make her want to take naps.

---

"What do you think she'll want for her birthday?" James asked, glancing over to make sure she was sound asleep.

"You probably have more ideas than I do." Sirius replied moving a piece on the chessboard. "You could always get her a puppy."

"I'll just wrap you in a box and tell you to stay that way. I'm sure that would work." They chuckled together and went back to their game.

"I got it!" James stood up quickly.

"Got what?" Sirius asked.

"I know what I'm going to get her." He turned to look at her. "She'll love it."

"What exactly is this unnamed gift?" James leaned down and whispered hoarsely into Sirius' ear his gift. Sirius' eyes lit up.

"She'll love it!" They exchanged their secret high five. Sirius glanced at his watch. "I have to run, some person is coming to my apartment for some reason."

"A girl."

"Yea" and he walked out.

---

Five days later Lily was hurrying around her house, vacuuming and cleaning windows.

"Lily! Turn the oven off, the turkey is done!" Her mother called from the kitchen. Lily ran into the kitchen and turned it off, then ran back to her vacuum.

"Lily! Put the potatoes on the stove." Her mother called again. Lily gave out a frustrated sigh and ran back to the kitchen and did as she was told. She walked back to the living room and picked up all the magazines and ugly things around the room. Guests would be arriving in about an hour and a half for her birthday.

"Lily! Set the table!" Her mother yelled from upstairs. Lily almost screamed, she couldn't just do what she was doing for five minutes without her mother ordering her to do something. She set the table and then looked around the house. It was pretty clean and shiny. Her mother came downstairs.

"Mum, I have got to take a shower and get ready." Lily told her. "I'll be out in about an hour."

"Hurry, I need help cooking still!" She called up the stairs after her.

Lily took a speed shower and jumped out. She busied herself with getting her hair ready, she was officially 17 and could do magic now. That cut down her preparation time by about 20 minutes. She wiggled into a white summer dress that came down to her knees. It had a forest green ribbon under her chest and had little spaghetti straps. She curled her hair and brought it up into a high ponytail. She applied a light amount of makeup and ran down the stairs.

"Alright I'm here, it's your turn to get ready." She told her mom. The older woman turned around.

"Oh sweetie you look absolutely darling!" Lily grinned and grabbed the cooking spoon from her mother.

"Go shower Mum. People will be arriving soon. And, if you need assistance with hair, I can use magic outside of school!" Her mother laughed and shook her head as she ran upstairs.

Lily busied herself with mashed potatoes and preparing a fruit salad while she waited for the guests to arrive, which was in about thirty minutes.

Lily looked around the room and noticed that there were a bunch of dishes that just had to be washed. She smiled to herself, picked up her wand, flicked her wrist and the dishes started to wash themselves and put themselves away. Lily swished her wand and suddenly there was a banner that read 'Happy Birthday Lily' across her front door. After a few more minor improvements she went back to work with the food, being careful not the spill anything on herself.

Her mother came downstairs a few minutes later with soaking wet hair.

"Help me would you?" She asked. Lily laughed and pointed her wand at her. Her hair was dry and perfectly placed.

"There you go."

"That was all… I was expecting loud noises and chanting." Lily laughed again.

"Nope, just a few simple words. Now go get dressed, people should be here any minute!" Lily ordered as she chuckled at her mom rushing up the stairs. Lily looked around the kitchen; everything was in its place. She walked into her dining room and flopped down on the couch. The party hadn't even started yet and she was about to die of exhaustion.

The doorbell rang a few minutes later and Lily jumped up to answer it. She opened the door to see her neighbors, the Millers. She welcomed them inside and called up to her mother that guests had begun to arrive.

For the next twenty minutes people were arriving every minute. There was a pregnant feel to the house, it was stuffed full of people. Lily couldn't help but smile at all the presents piled up on her coffee table in the dining room. The only people left to come was James and his gang; Charli had arrived but was busy helping her mother cook the last of the food.

Lily mingled and talked to her neighbors and family friends. She was so caught up with a conversation with a lady that worked with the hospital she didn't see James walk in with Sirius and Remus in tow. They walked to the table and placed their presents there and walked around, getting a feel of all the commotion.

Lily spotted them a few seconds later and excused herself from the woman she was speaking to.

"Hey boys!" She said cheerfully, giving them all a hug. Remus grinned down at her.

"You look beautiful Lils." He complimented. Sirius and James nodded in agreement.

"Thank you. We should be eating soon, if you want to go out back and set the example of everyone else. For some reason everyone is stuck on being inside when we have a perfectly good and very large backyard for their use." She laughed and led them out to the porch.

"Nice little party you have here Lils." Sirius said, leaning against the railing.

"It's alright, I wish it would just be people my age… and less of them."

"But you have loads of presents!" James said, pointing through the window and the slowly growing mound. "If I were you I would be doing laps around everyone I'd be so happy."

"Are you having a good birthday?" Remus asked politely.

"Yes, I have. Except my sister is out with her boyfriend, she refused to be here to celebrate the tragic day that I was born."

"But who needs her anyways? Right Lils?" Sirius joked.

"That's right." Lily laughed merrily and chugged down some more punch. James pulled Lily aside a few minutes later.

"I need to give you your present later." He said shyly.

"Ok…" Lily said awkwardly.

"It's magical so I didn't want you to open it in front of all those muggles."

"Good idea." She smiled and led him back to the small group.

The walked happily for a few more minutes before her mother called them inside for food. Everyone sat in whatever seat they could find. Lily was at the head of the table but she couldn't find the boys anywhere. Charli was to her right and her mother to her left. Her father was somewhere a few seats down. The boys probably were outside at the picnic tables.

Everyone chatted merrily around the dinner table with each other. They shared stories of Lily's life and talked about business meetings and what not. People started to clear off their plates and head back to the kitchen. Lily joined them and they all gathered outside to enjoy the warm July air.

Lily sat down at one of the tables and talked to whoever walked by. James and Remus were chatting a few feet away. Sirius found Charli and was flirting with her, who was shamelessly flirting back. Lily glanced at James, who caught her eye. She blushed and he winked, turning back to Remus.

"Happy Birthday To You!" Someone started from the porch door. Everyone started to join in and everyone gathered around Lily. They placed the gigantic vanilla on vanilla cake in front of her. Lily blushed a deep shade of red and let out a hearty laugh while people sang.

They finished and Lily started to blow out all of her candles. Her eyes were closed as she blew them out and she heard, behind the laughter and singing, loud pops all around her. She opened her eyes quickly, knowing the sound anywhere. She whipped her head around just in time to see a red stream of light hit the lady right next to her.

Suddenly everyone was screaming and running for their lives. Lily dove under the table.

"DEATHEATERS!" She heard James' mother scream above everyone else's voice. Lily dove out from under the table and started to fire whatever spell she could think of. They were all around her. She kept a weary eye on Mr. and Mrs. Potter who were battling it out against a group of 5 brutal death eaters. Mrs. Potter turned to her and screamed.

"Run Lily! Get out of here." Lily's eyes were as wide as saucers. Mrs. Potter turned around to face a bright spiral of green light flying towards her face. Lily screamed for her to move, to jump, anything to get out of the way. Everything was going in slow motion as the spell made it's way towards her. Mrs. Potter was frozen in fright, and then suddenly everything returned to normal speed. Lily screamed No as loud as she could as she watched Mrs. Potter fall to the floor. Mr. Potter ran towards his wife, a death eater from behind him sent the killing curse his way also, he rolled out of the way just in time.

Lily couldn't move, she didn't know if she had been hit with a spell, she couldn't feel anything, she could just see and hear. She saw Sirius dueling with 2 death eaters. Lily suddenly felt a strong arm pull her away and across the yard and into the trees the divided her house from the neighbors. She spun around as quickly as she could to see her attacker.

It was Remus. Lily let out a strangled cry and fell into his arms. He held her for a few seconds before telling her to run to Michelle's house, or the closest muggle house she knew of that was a good way away from hers. He pulled away from her.

"I have to go fight Lily." Lily screamed for him to stop but he was already gone. Lily heard more screaming and she turned her heel and ran, she was wandless, if she faced a death eater now she would surely be killed in seconds.

She ran for about five minutes before reaching Michelle's house. She burst through the front door, which was unlocked and slammed it behind her, locking it, and ran into the bathroom. She threw up everything she had in her stomach. She had seen her second mother die, murdered. She let out another strangled sob fell to the floor. She regained her strength and stood up. She turned around and glanced in the mirror. Her hair was messy and falling out of its ponytail. She had blood on her dress; it wasn't from her from what she could tell. She had dirt on the entire right side of her body which she didn't remember getting. She held on tight to the sink and turned on the water. She stuck her mouth under the faucet and washed her mouth out.

She walked out of the bathroom, she realized that no one was home and stumbled into the living room. She felt another wave coming on and she dropped to the ground, her legs had given out beneath her. She screamed in pain, not from an injury but from the torture of seeing a loved on murdered. She sobbed loudly and lay on the ground. She couldn't get up, nor could she move anything. She was paralyzed in shock. It was her fault, if she hadn't have had a birthday then this wouldn't have happened. She let out another painful yell and cried. She heard someone fumbling with the door when she regained control of her body.

They were back; they were coming to get her. She stood up as quickly as she could and ran to the coat closet to her right closing the door behind her. She heard the door slam open and several feet running inside. She heard them yelling to each other and doors opening and closing. She heard them getting closer and she clamped her hand over her mouth.

The door in front of her burst open and the light flooded into the small closet. Lily screamed and pushed herself even closer to the wall. She looked up, it was James. His shirt was ripped in multiple places and he was bleeding in several areas. When he saw her and his face washed over with relief. Lily let out a cry of relief and then cried. James dove down and grabbed her by the upper arms, jerking her upwards and out of the closet. He wrapped his arms around her so tight she thought she wouldn't be able to breathe.

Lily brought her arms around his neck and held on for her life. She his body shook for a second and realized that he had let out a sob and gripped her tighter. His arms found themselves around her waist so his hands reached almost all the way around. She heard him muttering 'Thank Merlin' and other mumblings.

Lily pulled away for a second, just her head; her arms never lost their intensity. James brought his head back to look at her face also. The look of up most fear in his eyes made her even more scared. They stared at each other for a few more seconds before James brought his lips crashing onto hers… and she didn't protest.

* * *

Jesus, I almost died while writing this chapter, it was crazy. That was intense... oh dear. Please review. I'm going to need a few hours to recover from writing this though. Even I"m in shock.

If you dont review I'm going to think I'm a terrible writer and never update again, please reveiw. Elli pretty much got my to write this chapter. THANKS elli, this chapter can be dedicated to you!

-A completely exhausted

Megan


	7. I Love You So Much

palomapotter- Hehe... thanks I'm glad you liked it!

eLLIPHANT- Thanks also, tell all your friends about it too... if they read this stuff :D, I want as many hits a possible. And I figured that since you kind of motivated me to write it... i should dedicate it to you ;)

szabatka2- Thanks for adding me to your alerts and favorites! That means a lot. I know, I'm sad James' parents had to die too... but it had to happen eventually. I feel like a horrible person when I write a death scene... but it has to be done. They were nice people, I wish they could have stuck around longer.

But I hope to everyone that they enjoy this chapter!

* * *

Chp 7 I love you so much

Lily felt shocks go through her entire body and booming erupting in her head. James deepened their kiss, bringing himself closer to her than he already was. The force of the kiss made Lily's knees give out again. All of the pains from seeing those people die and tortured, the fear, the sorrow, and the anger went into that kiss. There have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate in the history of all time. This one left them all behind.

James pulled back quickly and grabbed her hands.

"Are you alright?" He asked, scanning her quickly. "Your bleeding!" He grabbed her arm gently and touched a gash Lily hadn't noticed before. It was pretty deep and ran from her shoulder to half way to her elbow.

Remus appeared around the corner a second later.

"We have to return to the attack. The aurors must have arrived by now." He turned around and ran out again. James nodded and turned back to Lily.

"Can you do this?" He asked, lacing his fingers with hers. Lily swallowed and then gulped before she nodded. James walked quickly forward and they ran out of the house. The arrived at the trees dividing the lawns of the houses when James stopped running.

"I don't know what we are going to see, it sounds as if the fighting has stopped. If anything goes wrong I need you to run." James cupped his hand over her cheek. "I can't loose you, not now." He swept his hand over her hair. Lily couldn't speak, she had been mute since the moment the attack began. The shock had numbed her senses.

They climbed through the trees to find it void of death eaters and aurors. Lily almost threw up at the site. People lay scattered across her lawn. The doctor she had been conversing with earlier was drapped across the porch railing. There was blood everywhere. In the middle of the lawn there was one figure in a black cloak and mask. Lily faught the urge to run up and kick the living lights out of him. Lily spotted the place where both James' parents lay, his father looked as if he was protecting her body as it was strewn over the poor woman. James followed Lily's gaze to his parents. His face seemed to go as white as snow and he took in a sharp intake of breath before running to their sides.

"No, no no no no" He rocked back and forth, he flipped his father over. His glasses were broken and his face was bruised over. His mother seemed relatively uninjured. James kept mumbling to himself in shock. Lily walked up the porch steps, she saw Michelle's mother, a few of her neighbors. Lily walked inside, she had no control over her legs. They carried her wherever they pleased. She walked into her living room. She heard the sobs of a woman and she ran towards it. She turned the corner to her kitchen. Her mother was on her knees with a figure on her lap. Lily whispered a no under her breath. She walked swiftly towards her mother. She recognized the figure. It was her father. Lily cried out and her mother turned around to face her. Lily came down to her knees on the other side of her father.

"This cannot be happening…" Lily cried, throwing herself on her father's limp form. His face was cut in multiple places, he had a gigantic slash across his chest.

She moarned with her mother for a few seconds longer before she heard crunching on the broken glass behind her. Lily looked up, Sirius was standing there with a pained expression across his face.

"The aurors and mediwitches will be arriving shortly." He said hoarsely. He walked over to her and held out his hand. "It isn't good for you to be here Lily. Mrs. Evans, could you both please come with me." Lily excepted his hand and stood. He gave her a quick reassuring hug before turning back to Mrs. Evans. She wasn't budging.

"Mrs. Evans, please you cannot be here." Sirius urged her.

"No!" the older woman screamed. "I am not going to leave my husband!" She cried.

"Help is going to be arriving shortly. We need to gather up any muggles and the injured." He paused. "Please Mrs. Evans."He put a hand on her shoulder. Marie's (Mrs. Evans) shoulders shook and her mother turned, she was holding onto the figures hand but she tried to take Sirius'. Her hand seemed to be glued Mr. Evans. Lily swept down and pried their hands apart. Mrs. Evans let out another sob and with the help of both Sirius and Lily they managed to get her on her feet. She leaned all of her weight on Sirius. They brought her outside to the front yard and set her down.

Men were running around the house screaming orders to each other, mediwitches came over and wrapped them in blankets. Lily sat on the ground hugging her legs. There was nothing she could do now. James was attempting to make the aurors let him help them but they refused, he retured to Lily and her mother frustrated.

"Whats going to happen now?" Lily murmured. She kept her eyes forward, staring at the commotion around her. James put his head in his hands and sighed loudly.

"I don't know Lils, I don't know." He ran his hands through his hair, stopping at the top of his head and pulling at it roughly. A mediwitch came up behind Lily and touched her shoulder a tad bit rougher than intended. Lily let out a sharp gasp and hiss. James snapped his head around.

"This gash on your shoulder needs to be healed." The mediwitch held out her hands. "Can you come with me to heal it?" Lily stood up and followed the witch a few paces toward a group out mediwitches. A few of them held Lily's arm as the one that approached her murmered a spell and ran her wand down her arm, closing up the wound without leaving a scar.

"Thank you" Lily mumbled and turned away. She turned to see an ambulance escorting her mother. Lily ran towards it. "Where are you taking her?" She asked the person rolling the stretcher.

"She needs medical attention, that is all I can tell you." He said proffesionally.

"I'm her daughter! Tell me what is wrong with her?" Lily demanded, stepping on her high horse.

"The shock of this attack sent her into cardiac arrest. If she doesn't get medical attention soon she will die, now get out of my way." Lily's eyes popped open as wide as they can go and stumbled out of the way. She followed the stretcher to the ambulance, she boarded the vehicle. Several of the doctors tried to kick her out but she demanded to be transported with her mother.

Mrs. Evans was strapped to the hard board like stretcher. The doctors around her had managed to get her heart to start beating again, now they were scurrying around the best the could to get to the places they needed. They put a breathing mask over her face and a heart monitor on her finger along with an IV on her wrist. Lily just sat there, trying to get out of everyone's way.

The siren roared as they sped down the many roads leading to the hospitals. Lily focused on what was going to happen once her mother was placed in the hospital. Where was she going to stay? Her house was a crime scene now, plus the bodies that used to be her father, James' parents, and half a dozen other people would haunt her dreams.

Lily tried to shut out the rest of her thoughts. They were just too painful to consider now. The ambulance came to a screeching halt and the doctors jumped into action. They screamed orders at each other and one of the nicer ladies came over to Lily.

"I need you to follow me Miss…"

"Evans, Lily Evans." Lily informed her, speaking more directly to her knees than anything.

"Anyways… Miss Evans, you cannot follow your mother into the emergency room. I suggest you go to the cafeteria to get something to eat, here is a food pass" She dug in her pocket and handed her a small slip of paper. "That will cover a meat, two vegetables, a drink, and a desert. We will keep you updated on the progress of your mother." She gave Lily a gentle smile. "Everything is going to be fine Miss Evans." The lady put her hand on Lily's shoulder. "I must get going, the cafeteria…"

"I know where it is, my mum works here." Lily stood up and walked out of the vehicle. She wasn't hungry but she knew she needed to eat, the shock of the attack, the running, the terror, and crying had made her blood sugar low. If she didn't eat she would pass out soon. She made a beeline straight to the cafeteria and stood in the rather long line. She looked around her and waited patiently for the older couple in front of her to move past the salad section. Her mind wandered toward James, their kiss that had happened at Michelle's house. What was that? Lily had never felt anything like it. Lily brought her hand up to her lips and pressed them slightly. She felt like she could still feel his lips crashing onto hers with such intensity. Then she thought of her father, dead in the kitchen of her home. She closed her eyes tightly, begging for the tears to hold back. She could tell that he had not been killed by the unforgivable killing curse. His eyes were not wide open and full of fear. The cuts around his face screamed out the pain curse to Lily. Sometimes that curse would tear the flesh, sometimes it wouldn't. It all depended on the person who was receiving it.

"Excuse me Miss…" She heard a voice say, she snapped her head around. The cafeteria man was motioning for her to continue down the line. She had apparently zoned out while the line moved. Lily blushed and scurried forward. She picked up a Shepard's pie and some mashed potatoes and green beans with a chocolate cake (Remus had convinced her that chocolate would make you feel better in just an instant.). Lily gave the lady at the register her slip of paper before sitting at the window. As she ate she watched ambulances rush in and out with sirens on, caring the sick, injured, and dying. People walked in and out, Lily prayed her mother would be walking out soon. Lily's mind wandered to James again.

How was he taking the death of his parents?

Should she be with him right now? Lily quickly shook her head no; she needed to be with her mother who was on the edge of death. Lily sat quietly for a few more seconds before someone approached her.

"Are you Miss Evans?" They asked, Lily looked up to see a young man, probably in his mid 20s standing before her.

"Yes." Lily said simply.

"How is your mother?" He asked, taking a seat across from her. "I'm one of her interns." Lily looked up at him again. He was rather cute, he had brown hair and dark brown eyes, a kind face, and somewhat muscular.

"I haven't heard since the ambulance. They got her heart to start beating again, I don't know what they are going to do." She said, pushing the left over food around her plate.

"I'm sorry for what happened, I know this must be hard." He placed a hand over hers; Lily looked up at his face.

"It is…" She chocked, the tears were coming. "None of this would have… would have happened if it wasn't for me. It was my birthday party. I'm responsible for their deaths."

"No Lily, your not…. Don't say that" Lily felt anger rise inside of her, who was this guy to tell her that she wasn't the cause of their deaths, she barely knew him for God's Sake.

"My father… dead because of me. My neighbors are dead. My friend… both of his parents, I saw them murdered. My other friend's mother." Lily whipped a tear from under her eye. "How is this not my fault?" She asked, her voice was low and raspy.

"You didn't know this was going to happen." He said simply. "There is no doubt in my mind that you would never have had that party if you knew what would happen. You didn't kill those people." He tried to make eye contact. Lily stared down hard at the table.

"Listen-" _beep! Beep! Beep!_ The guy sighed and looked at his pager. "I have to go. But Lily, this wasn't your fault. I'm sorry for you loss." And with that he was gone, walking swiftly toward the exit. Lily looked down moodily at her food again, still pushing it around her plate. She couldn't help but feel helpless and hopeless. She wanted to be helping all of those people, but right now her mother needed her. Lily threw her food away and walked into the waiting room. There weren't many people in there so she made herself at home on one of the couches. She picked up a magazine and began to read.

She couldn't remember how long she sat there, but after a while she drifted off into unconsciousness. She had no dreams; she just sat there, her head dropping off to one side. She would no doubt have a crick in her neck when she woke, but she didn't care.

Someone tapped her on her shoulder after what felt like hours. Lily's head shot up. She rubbed her eyes.

"Yes?" She asked, trying to focus in on the doctor before her.

"Miss Evans, we have some… news about your mother." The doctor looked down at Lily then sat down next to her. He leaned forward and started to explain. Lily burst into tears and buried her head in her hands while shaking her head.

"No, that cannot be possible!" She said in a shaky voice while she looked up at the doctor again.

---

James looked up to find Lily; he didn't see her where she had been standing only seconds before. He stood up from his sitting position and scanned the commotion quickly for any sign of the red head.

"Where did she go?" He asked out loud in a half panicked voice. He found Sirius quickly.

"Where did Lily go?" He asked Sirius.

"I don't know Prongs, but she should be the last thing on your mind right now." Sirius said honestly.

"She's one of the only things I've got left, dammit Sirius, I would kill myself if you or Lily went missing." James felt the tears starting to sting his eyes.

"Let's get out of here…" Sirius suggested, leading James away from the house.

"Where are we going?" He asked.

"Back to your house." Sirius said. James stopped quickly.

"I can't go back, not yet." James said honestly. "Lets go somewhere… far away from here." He said sternly. Sirius nodded, he was just as affected by this as James was. Mr. And Mrs. Potter were like the parents he never had, and James the brother his would never be. James and Sirius walked down the street away from the scene.

"Why…" James murmured. "Why would the come here?" He already knew the answer but he had to hear it from someone else. Sirius sighed.

"Voldemort is going after muggleborns and their families, muggles, and muggle lovers." He swallowed hard for a second. "Lily's party had 2 famous aurors, muggleborns and their families, and muggles. It was the perfect target. They knew we would be outnumbered and we would be cautious about magic while the muggles were there." Sirius paused for a second. "Did you ever see if Charli made it out?" He asked. James racked his brain for a few moments.

"I didn't see her anywhere outside or in the house. I hope she did, Lily can't handle loosing her father, maybe her mum, and her best friend in one day."

They elapsed into silence and continued to walk wherever their feet could take them.

---

"She has breast cancer Miss. Evans." The doctor told Lily in the waiting room. "It is very advanced… though it is too small to even see from the outside." Lily swallowed hard.

"Will see live?" The doctor frowned at the question.

"It is very unlikely." Lily took in a quick breath. "I'm so sorry Miss Evans. This type of cancer is so rare… she couldn't have seen it coming."

"How long does she have left?"

"Only a few more months. If she feels up to it she can take time out of the hospital but must have frequent check ups. Lets hope for the best." Lily nodded, starring down at her shoes; tears were falling like a waterfall down her cheeks. The doctor left and Lily was left leaning up against a chair. She closed her eyes tight and tried to stop the flow of tears. She frowned and began to hum a small tune.

"Happy birthday to me…

Happy birthday to… to me" Lily dug her head into her knees and hugged them tightly. There was a small cough and Lily moved around to show she heard them.

"You can go visit your mother now. She isn't very aware, due to the painkillers and other medications. She was asking for you… and calling out for Richard… is that your father?" the doctor asked. Lily nodded and stood up standing as straight as she could. She whipped the tears off her face and walked into her mother's room.

"Mum?" She called quietly.

"Richard? Is that you?" A small voice from the bed said. "Oh Richard, I'm coming, I'm coming to be with you." The voice cracked. "Lily?" Lily raised her head to find her mother staring at her. She was covered in tiny chords and machines were beeping all around her. Lily ran to her mother's side and grabbed her hand. Tears were falling down her face rapidly now.

"I love you so much Mum." She wept. "I love you so much."

* * *

This is a touchy subject for me. My mom thought she had breast cancer a while back and the whole family was going crazy it seemed. It's so hard to know that a relative could have breast cancer because its hereditary... I dont think I spelled that right but w/e. I mean, if my mom gets breast cancer then I'm likely to get it in the future also.

I hope you all R&R, it makes me feel special to get all your little review emails that the web site sends me. Also I check the hits all the time. I hope you guys liked this one... not really liked because it was sad... i guess you could appreciate it. Yea, thats right.

I hope you all had a good christmas! Review me what you got! haha

Yours forever

Megan


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